Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Bring me that man meat
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
