Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
