told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
