I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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