i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
