Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
