You just made me feel so damn special
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
