i would punch a child for taco bell
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
