I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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