WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
pray to the hookup gods
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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