That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
