We're like a lot better than the average bears
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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