Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
