What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
