White coat. Heels.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
