Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
