She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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