I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
