Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
