If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
