oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
