You really coming over, don't trick.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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