you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Randomize
