We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
