Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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