Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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