Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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