i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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