So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
