My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
that is very illegal...i love you.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
