im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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