oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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