so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
