whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
