So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
