the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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