who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
