is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
