My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
are you so shy because you have an std?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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