he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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