508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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