yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
