dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
