Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
