you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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