I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
