Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
