Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
