Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I need moral support for this bender
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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