I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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