Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
