We're facebook friends in real life
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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